Hey there you lot just a quick update to say that I am note dead well not yet, am feeling very very down lately, I just don't know what is the matter with me I'm even sitting here crying as I am writing this I just haven't the foggiest any more, there is a lot going on at the moment which I think might be contributing to my mood as a whole, work is mental at the moment, having to drive 2 hours to work and then back again every day is really getting on my nerves now am just so tired and utterley exhausted and all for some shitty little job, I think this might be one of the things making me feel like this but as for the rest of it I don't know. I have a very special friend who has been there for me over the past few weeks and months while this has been going on for but I just feel like I can't ask any more from him than what he has already done for me which is so much and I have been such a horrible person to him and such a burden I hate myself so much for doing it to him. I feel as if I can't laugh anymore which is scaring me as have always been able to smile and laugh I just think all those years of doing it have now backfired on me, I don't think I can carry on in this way I feel so alone. Anyway am going to go now and try and drink something my head feels as if it's about to explode. Thank you all for listening even if you don't pay any attention to it.

Tags: in needs of hugs
Current Location: home
Current Mood: sad